PS Some thoughts on fairness and Careerism.

I am not sure if there is such a word as careerism. Don't know if I heard it said or if it just seemed to sound about right when thinking about vocations to family. I have not bothered to look it up because whether it is a word or not is of no import as I will explain what I mean by it and in so doing give you the definition of it as I see it.

In my previous post I talked about population decline and the brave new world we live in. Part of that discussion touched on women in the work force and the impact a woman choosing a career path has on the number of children she is likely to have, on population and on family. This part of the post actual came from a debate that took place between myself and a few other women on the issue of career versus family and why women had to choose between the two and men did not. Some of the women found it unreasonable and unfair that this should be the case. They argued that it was because of short sighted social attitudes and by extension a lack of effective social policy. Oh were it that simple! If only we could just throw a little public policy, and public money, and correct all the perceived injustices in our societies! But just because a segment of society perceives an injustice does that make something an injustice? Here are some examples of possible perceived injustices that my girlfriend Alane and I came up with that we might want to try and fix with a little social policy and public money.

• while people sunburn and black people don't (and if they do not nearly as quickly and it does not look nearly as bad)
• my daughter and husband have beautiful singing voices and I don't 
• I know many people who are much faster runners than I am
• my friend Jocelyn is a much better cook than I am
• my friend Alane plays many musical instruments, she is gifted and I am not
• my sister is a wonderful painter and I am not
• I have several friends who have much more money than I do
• One of our friends is a multi millionaire.
• My friend Thea can knit a baptismal gown and I cannot
• I know people who speak five or more languages, I only speak three
• etc, etc, etc,

I could go on with the list but I think you get where I am going with this. There are plenty of things in life that seem unfair, but just because they seem unfair does not make them worthy of massive social engineering and social outcry. As Alane quite rightly put it, "Oh come on, get over it, for crying out loud!"

When talking about choices between career and family I only very briefly touched on something which I would now like to expound upon a little. I mentioned that one rarely sees male CEOs of companies who were also devoted, dedicated husbands and fathers. They may have a child or two but their lives are pretty much tied to their careers, because that is what it takes to be the best in any given career. This is the danger and, I believe, inevitable trapping of careerism.

Careerists are very different from those who are dedicated to being good at what they do. A careerist is someone who has come to define themselves by the success or failure of their career, for whom their career is their life! All that they do, all that they are is based on how well they succeed in their given career. In the end a careerist serves his/her career first, at the expense of all else, sometimes even life itself.

Our culture promotes this, it applauds this, it feeds this. How many times have you heard someone say, "my work is my life" "my career is my whole world." This is all is quite sad, and even sadder when the person saying it is a mother or father.

What is the purpose and end of work? Well depending on who you talk to there will be varying answers. I believe that the purpose and end of work has always been to provide for and care for your family and yourself. I think it is important that you get some satisfaction in the work you do, and I think that if you can find work that can be rewarding and enjoyable as well as provide for your family that is great. I am not advocating that we should suffer miserably and unnecessarily in our chosen profession, not at all. But I do think that once you are spending all of your quality time and energy devoting it to your profession at the expense of time spent nurturing and caring for your family you have allowed yourself to be dangerously side tracked into careerism.

Culturally we have lost sight of what is truly important, men and women alike. I think one of the reasons why a career seems so appealing to women is that they watch men virtually abandon their families for the sake of, greater career opportunities, public acclamation, peer adulation, more status, more money, etc, and with seemingly no consequences. People talk about how history remembers so and so, and their successes, and sometimes their failure. We talk about how so an so will be remembered in the annals of history for their great successes. But really who cares. Does it mean that the great historical figure has lead a better life than the person who fathered/mothered children to become good people who went on to have families who themselves were good and caring people and so on. Who really has the greater legacy?

Many of these great successful men have wives who have made a choice to stay home and care for their families so that their husbands can pursue their careers. And in some cases men have chosen to stay home with the children while their wives go out and pursue their careers. I would say that if it is unfair for a woman to be expected to stay home and essentially bring up her children by herself, it is just as much unfair for her to expect her husband to go it alone while she goes off to "fulfill herself" through her career.

It is a sad statement of how truly lost we are when we need a career to feel fulfilled. When we cannot find fulfillment it caring for our families, helping to guide our children, being companions and helpers to our mates. True fulfillment, I believe, can only be found in taking the time to commune with God and discern what he is calling you to. And that may very well be to a profession, but it certainly would not be to a professional life that would pull you away from your vocation as husband and father, or wife and mother.

So while it may seem unfair to some that women have to make the choice between career and family, as it may seem unfair that some people have green eyes while others do not, fairness really is not the issue is it? The issue I believe is truly about the difference between what we should do and what we want to do, what is best for our families as opposed to what seems best for our wants. Only in recent decades have we seen women have doors open to them, career opportunities made available to them, that have never been before and instead of taking the time to truly discern a life's vocation we have gone clamoring right behind so many men making all the same mistakes that they have been making. We are wanting to make many of the same selfish sacrifices. How unoriginal!

 Who do you think is more fulfilled?

God Bless,
Dominique